A 20-year-old man allegedly planted a bomb at the visitor center of MacDill Air Force Base in Tampa, lit the fuse, watched it fail to detonate, called 911 himself, and then fled the country to China — where he walked into a police station, filled out a residency form for a two-year stay, and claimed Chinese citizenship. His 27-year-old sister allegedly helped him escape by consulting ChatGPT.

We live in the dumbest timeline.

Alen Zheng is now somewhere in China after allegedly placing a “rudimentary explosive device” at MacDill Air Force Base on March 10. The IED was planted at the base’s visitor center at night. He lit the fuse. It didn’t go off. And then — in a move that defies every criminal mastermind stereotype — he called 911 himself.

The device was later discovered on March 16 and described by officials as “viable” and “potentially very deadly.” Prosecutors have stated that “given more time and planning, Alen would have sought to improve the functionality of that device.” The bomb worked in theory. He just hadn’t perfected it yet.

FBI agents found bomb-making components at the family home in Land O’ Lakes, Florida, and explosive residue on a Mercedes-Benz SUV the family had cleaned and sold. Nothing says “everything’s fine” like scrubbing explosive residue off the family car and listing it on AutoTrader.

Now here’s where the story gets genuinely alarming.

His sister, Ann Mary Zheng, 27, allegedly turned to ChatGPT for help getting her brother out of the country. According to prosecutors, she asked ChatGPT: “Is there a way to track a 2010 Mercedes Benz GLK 350?” She researched obtaining Chinese visas. She looked into transferring property into her brother’s name using power of attorney. She searched for Chinese schools he could attend to stay hidden long-term.

This is what AI-assisted flight from justice looks like. Not some sophisticated hacking operation. A woman in Florida typing questions into a chatbot about how to help her brother disappear after he allegedly tried to blow up a U.S. military installation.

Two days after the bombing attempt, on March 12, the siblings departed together for China. Alen entered using a Chinese passport — suggesting dual citizenship — and has not returned. Ann Mary came back to the United States on March 17, was questioned by Border Patrol in Detroit, and was later interviewed by the FBI in Tampa.

Prosecutor Lauren Stoia told the court: “She took all of these steps to get her brother to a place without an extradition treaty.” China, of course, has no extradition treaty with the United States. Alen Zheng is, as of now, beyond our reach.

Ann Mary Zheng has been charged with evidence tampering and being an accessory after the fact. Alen Zheng faces charges of attempting to damage government property by fire or explosion, unlawfully making a destructive device, and possessing an unregistered destructive device. FBI Director Kash Patel confirmed that Alen remains in China.

The family owns three rental properties purchased recently for roughly $300,000 total, in addition to their mortgaged home in Land O’ Lakes. The defense attorney claims Ann Mary “is not a flight risk.” Her brother — the one she helped flee to a non-extradition country — might disagree with the family’s track record on that front.

We’re watching a case where someone allegedly attacked a United States Air Force base with an IED, used a Chinese passport to flee to a country that won’t send him back, and his sister used consumer AI technology to help plan the escape. This isn’t a spy thriller. This is a family in suburban Florida with a ChatGPT subscription and a Chinese passport.

The question nobody in Washington wants to answer: how many other dual-citizenship holders have an exit plan to a non-extradition country already mapped out? And how many of them are asking ChatGPT about it right now?